The Homeless and the Hooker Poet

I was working the 10 line out of the West Hollywood Division. It starts on Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood and goes down Melrose Avenue. During the day it usually changes to the 48 line in downtown Los Angeles and continues into Watts. Today, though, I was working the owl. During the night it only works as far as Maple and 7th. There's a terminal there right in the middle of skid row.



A lot of the homeless catch the bus. Actually they catch a lot of buses. For most of the homeless and toothless it's cheaper to get a bus pass than a room. On the bus they can get an hour or so sleep in a dry and sometimes safe place. Most drivers chuck them off at the end of the line but I have other ideas. I bring a thermos of coffee and some plastic cups. I usually have some cookies as well. So me and the smelly ones sit and have a chat and very enlightening it is. They tell me a lot of lies and I tell them a few of my own. The night passes pleasantly enough. I've met Kings and Dukes, Aliens from other countries and other planets, fighters, boozers and really nice guys who have finished last.



Early on in my shift Ray got on my bus. Every time he gets on it's his 65th birthday so he wants to go for free. Ray is homeless with no teeth and one leg. He hops up on his crutches and my feeling is that if he's got a bit of cash he'd be better off buying a cup of coffee than spending it on busfare so I never charge him. Hey, WTF so shoot me. Today he asked me if I knew of MacDavis. Of course I do, he was a big country singer in the 70's. So me and Ray sang a few choruses of "Lord it's hard to be humble" Me with my Welsh accent and him with no teeth. Still the passengers seemed to enjoy it. Later he told me that he's moving to Arizona. He said his first wife wants him back. I said "But Ray, you've only got one leg, how you gonna kick her ass?" He promised me he'd find a way.



Last night I was at the terminal on my own when Beverly paid me a visit. At least that's what she told me her name was. She wandered over from the felony flats across the street to offer me a blow job for $15. Quite a reasonable price, I felt very special that I was getting such a deal. So I asked if she gave any freebies, a sort of "Try before you buy" Unfortunately she turned that down. I pointed out to her that I don't purchase anything without some kind of warranty, so I asked if she promised "Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back." That's when she said something so cool that I committed it to memory. She said;

"It's all about the money,

And it's not funny.

You gotta have cash

In this land of milk and honey."


Now that's poetry for you.